ApothecaryAphid

And trust me this one is a doozy. One of my less humble moments in my life. So enjoy my retardation. 

I totally am copying the trend of "animated" story telling on Youtube. So go check it out or I will kill you.

Edit: I take it back that I will kill you if you don't see the video.

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I still cartoon 'obvs'. But I don't like... do it. There are a few people that read my cartoons and actually like my cartoons. To those people I say, thank you and I still am making strange and slightly offensive cartoons on deviant art. But 3 years ago when I started my deviant art page, I wanted to be a cartoonist. I have been drawing my whole life (lmao, when people say that it sounds like they came out of the vagina drawing). But seriously, when I was a 5 I fell in love with Calvin and Hobbes. 5 years later and I fell in love with The Far Side. In high school I knew that I wanted to have a syndicated cartoon. After I graduated I got to work cartooning and trying to make better cartoons. 

I live in a small town with absolutely no way to show off my cartoons. The local newspaper told me that there was no room in the paper for cartoons (epic foreshadowing moment). So I got a part time job so I can buy stuff. So then it was 2008 and the economy craps out, we all know the story. My wonderful mom gets me a birthday present. It was a piece of paper, gee thanks mom, you are the blah blah blah, 10 out of 10 ign.com. HOWEVER, the piece of paper was an invoice for a website that was managed by a professional. My mom gave me a webpage to make my cartoons. To this day I look back at that present, and it still was one of the best presents ever. So the cartoon "Cartoon Interrupted" was born. It was so cool to have a website dedicated to my cartoons.........but, there were problems.

The first problem was that I was severely inexperienced with the web cartoon concept. I did not know how to branch out and make myself known. I would let friends and family know about it, but I never really advertised it. My family was great, but my 'friends' were not so great. They never really looked at my cartoons, or even gave a crap so I never got any good criticism. Obviously it is not their fault at all. I am not going to say, "IT WAS THEIR FAULT THEY DID NOT LOOK AT MY CARTOONS WHAA WHAA WHAA!" They ended up being crap, and I don't talk top them anymore. 

The next problem is that the piece of crap "professional" that was PAID to help me was awful at his job. He complained about the website. Seriously, every time I came in to do changes he would bitch like a 5 year old the whole time. He ended up charging me tons of money to keep the website up. I could not afford it, so I shut it down. Fun Fact: He recently lost his business LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

So now I have no website, economy sucks, and I made a grand total of $0 on the cartoon advertisements. So I figured that it was time to start submitting for syndication. 2010 rolls by and I am not drawing anymore. I would rather play video games and play with my dogs. SUPER LONG STORY SHORT: I attended the Animal Behavioral College and got a certification in dog training. The crap town that I live at is not a good place to start a dog training business. I then start to dislike people and how they treat their dogs. I give up dog training (for now). 

2012 the world ends lmao April fools got you go kill yourself. Seriously, 2012 happens and I get back to drawing. I try to get a cartoon in the local newspaper LONG STORY SHORT it never happens. 

2013 was a year that happened. I started the Deviant art page and start my well thought out advertisements. I get a small following. I draw a cartoon a day I am getting better. So I start a portfolio for syndication. I submit to the major syndicates; Universal Press, Kings Features, North America Syndicate. And they were all rejects. SO YOU KNOW: All of the cartoonist that you see in the newspaper had to submit tons of times before they get syndicated. I knew this. March 2013 I get bedridden from some strange illness. The next day I get life-flighted. While I am in intensive care I get my cell phone out to see that I have another rejection from the syndicate (e-mail). But this one was different. This one had a very disheartening message to it. I was a little shook up by it. 

So I get better from my illness and get back to work. I am doing professional cartoons for the syndication and goofy cartoons for Deviant art. Now hear me out. The cartoons that I submitted were family friendly and less ridiculous like the ones that I do on Devinat art. 

2014. I have received rejection after rejection after rejection after rejection. Then I get three more with some hurtful comments. I will not get into most of them mainly because I am a faggot and got a little too butt hurt. But one of them said that I was 'not original'. That one stung real bad. Boo Hoo woe is me.

So I quit trying. You can tell when I quit because my cartoons were not getting uploaded as often on Deviant Art. That was it. I was done. Then I watched a documentary called STRIPPED. Now things make sense. If you are trying to get into a syndication I have two advice's for you (wow great grammar 10/10 ign.com):

#1: Give up. There is no room for anybody new to get their cartoons syndicated. Watch the STRIPPED documentary.

#2: Don't give up. If you can handle wasting years of your precious time, then do it. Universal Press has turned into U-Click and they have opened up tons of new possibilities for aspiring cartoonists. Also STRIPPED has tons of info on how to make a proper webcomic. Plus there is Patreon, Kickstarters. There are many ways for you to make a successful webcomic. And if you do make a webcomic, I will support you the whole way (I mean that I will read your cartoons and let people know. I don't have that much money silly). It will be a rough start like everything else is, but you can do it.

You are asking, "Why are you saying I can do it. Why don't you try again?" My answer is, "I am done." Honestly, I could try a patreon in the future (like the far future) but for now, I don't want to. I have so many ideas for cartoons that just will not work as panels. I got into animation. It is what I want to do. I am going to school for computer animation and I am loving every step of it. Now I aspire to have my own cartoon show. LETS BE HONEST HERE, I am in the same ballpark as when I was trying to get my cartoons syndicated. But here is the kicker: If it does not work out, I have something else to fall back on. I love video games, so why not try to be a video game animator? With cartooning, there is not much to fall back on (EXCEPT FOR PATREON YOU RETARDED APHID). But lets be real here, who would pay me money to draw a tear jerking off another tear? Nobody. I am not saying that everyone is cruel and that you are all the problem. It is just that I have personally screwed myself for years. I needed to think things through, slow down, and use my head. 

This whole journal entry is not for sympathy or to be dramatic. I just want to explain some things and also (maybe) help other artists read this and avoid making the same mistakes I did. At one point I even asked people to help advertise my cartoons? What? I was really retarded. I know that there are many people that draw for fun and would rather work some other job then to get paid to draw. But for those who want to try to make a living on your art, I strongly suggest schooling. Without a degree, it is really hard to get a job in that field. 

Thank you for reading this ridiculously long journal entry. And I wish you all a good day.

P.S. That cartoon I did 3 years ago about me hating the hospitals, that really happened. I just got a cardio catheter done on me so I had to lay on my back for 6 hours without moving. I had to go wee wee, so I got mini-me out to go wee wee in a jug. And the doctor comes into the room, opens the door as wide as it possibly could. And the three people that walked by saw my ding dong. I wish I was joking. I really wish I was joking.

P.S.S. Sorry about the grammar mistakes. I swear I am in college.