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Submitted on
January 22, 2013
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I whisked away to go to Wal-Mart,
When I got there I walked into a fart.

I grabbed a cart and tried to pry it off the other one,
A lady asked me for spare change, dear god she must have weighed a ton.

I said to poor fat lady "Not today."
In which she replied "What are you gay?"

I asked poor fat lady "Why do need money? Why not ask some other men?"
She said "I really need alot of money, I need it to feed my children."

I looked into her cheeto stained shirt as she stood tall,
I said "Well you should have shared the food with your kids instead of eating it all."

I got what I needed and stood in the express line,
And of course there standing behind me is a loud man who smelled of wine.

He would not shut up OH it made me so mad,
Then he fell over and could not get up HA it made me glad.

The lady in front of me said "Could you go help that man",
I said "I wish I could but I am late for a tan."

She said "No really he looks like he is dead",
I looked over to the drunk with his legs all spread.

I looked at the lady and said "He looks sticky",
I also said "I would not want to accidentally touch his dickey."(LOL)

Everybody looked to me like it was my f%&#ing job,
I'm being honest I'm not some snob.

The drunk man stopped breathing,
There was a baby teething,
Also a young boy was heaving,
All I really thought about was leaving.

I looked in my cart and said "Do I really need all this Vaseline?"
"Because all I want to do is overdose on morphine."

Then the poor fat lady and children walked over to passed out slowly breathing drunk guy,
(I am being dead serious, I am not going to lie.)

She said "Who knocked out my husband?"



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:iconlieraeevee:
LieraEevee Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013  Student Artist
Lol, not the best day ever.
Reply
:iconlunabiene:
LunaBiene Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Wonderful poem! :iconcryforeverplz:
Reply
:iconkyri-is-dark:
kyri-IS-dark Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013
brilliant poem
Reply
:iconmockingjayhallows7:
MockingjayHallows7 Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013
Hope the rest of your day was better...
Reply
:iconyoshiofredemption:
YoshiofRedemption Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Student General Artist
Lol!
Reply
:icondocta-amazin:
Docta-Amazin Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Dr Seuss reincarnation LOL
Reply
:iconmuffinfreakofnature:
muffinfreakofnature Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
RUN!

Well nice poem I guess...
Reply
:iconcoffaybunny:
CoffayBunny Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
best poem I have ever read
Reply
:iconaksmn12:
aksmn12 Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
this is the most beautiful poem i have ever read.
Reply
:iconbluejay607:
Bluejay607 Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
omg.... that was so beautiful :iconcryforeverplz: hahahah I died of laughter reading this XD what the fuck why'd you go back to Walmart after what happen last time anyway :/ you rly should do a comic of this it would be pure gold XD
Reply
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